Creating downhill paths to the pastor's office and heart is critical. By downhill, I mean easy easily traveled. My office, my most visible role behind the pulpit, and the call to be submissive create for my people large obstacles and a steep path to travel to my heart. It takes intentional effort to hear what they have to say.
But there are observations that are overheard as much as heard. These are worth mining, as what is overheard is as significant as what is heard.
That brings me to a wonderful "overheard" comment. It was wonderful in that it brought light to a disposition of my heart that was leaking all over my words and shepherding.
It took place on a Sunday, after worship, when I stood in the lobby and greeted people. I once thought this sort of ritual was empty of value. I dutifully stood and greeted but at times my mind wandered into "more important things to do that I would do as soon as I was done with this."
That day a godly woman in her late 70's walked by with her husband. As always, they greeted me, told me they loved me, they loved our family, and they prayed for us. Then, without intending to correct me, she noted, "We love you, and we are so sorry we disappoint you. We are trying not to. Be patient with us."
I was floored. The Lord had me in a "listening between the lines" mode of heart right at that time, and the words "disappoint you" were like a thunderclap. She was sweet and soft spoken, but her words were like a hammer.
I was about 5 years into pastoring this particular church. I came to them as a young man of 31. I was in the midst of rethinking the Gospel and its role in my preaching. I was seeing that my primary motivational tool was law, not grace. And then this -- some of my people were living under a burden of being disappointing to me.
Yikes.
I was tempted to think that this was a lone example. But I knew that people's observations always represented what at least a few others thought. And even minority reports could be spot on.
The following weeks took me down roads of discussing this with other men who were in leadership in the church. It took me down the road of evaluating my sermons. Her observation was confirmed. I did have a scolding tone, a "coach's halftime demeanor" in my exhortations. Overhearing brought repentance and the beginnings of change.
Overhearing what God had for me in an offhand comment proved invaluable to my pastoring, preaching, and care of my people. I want to make it easy for my people to speak their concerns, but I also want to overhear what they say.
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