Bleatings from the sheep: OUCH!

Story One:

I have a "clever" side.  I once liked to preach in a way that debunks myths people believe.  In my first year as a pastor I did a series of messages on prayer. There are lots of prayer myths -- slogans that I found as easy targets for my brilliant critique.  Each message was a shot at wrong thinking and a declaration of truth.  I took down some major myths and applauded myself for prophetic courage.

About a year later a member of the church asked to come see me.  It was clear that she was full of fears in doing so.  I assumed she had some personal problems.

On the day of the appointment, she sat in my office, established rapport, and then asked, "Do you remember the messages you gave on prayer a few months ago?"  I certainly did! I assured her I remembered them.  I did not say this, but I thought they were so good they should be heard by all!  I assumed she was there to tell me how great they were.

She then 'bleated" -- she sounded forth her pain as a sheep under me as a shepherd.  Here is what she said, "Mark, after I heard those sermons I did not pray for 6 months." I did not see that one coming.  I was floored.

She then made a series of observations about my edginess, my "critiquing mode" of preaching, my harshness, and how it was hard to relate to me. She noted that I had done more to undermine her faith than build it.

I am tempted to pride like all of us.  My pride is not helped by being a pastor. 99.9% of the people in the church will not speak to me in critique -- rather, they put me on a pedestal.  I get used to being 6 feet above contradiction.  I begin to confuse my preaching of God's word with my preaching of my word.  I am a messenger but I begin to think of myself as the sender.

What happened next hinged on whether I would value her perspective or dismiss her as a "dumb sheep" and think that I knew better as a shepherd. God gave me grace at that time. I listened, I wrote down her thoughts.  I asked an older man and a mentor in the church for his perspective.  Actually I shared the story in a way that I hoped would bring him to my defense. 

He walked me through the evaluation and pointed out that there is a difference between shepherding God's people with truth and shepherding them wisely with truth.  He noted that I used truth to bludgeon people.  I was called to make truth acceptable and faith-building.

I had some lessons to learn.  Most of all, I was to find that the people I served had good noses -- they may not know all the nuances of theology, but they could smell the stench of pride and the fragrance of true worship in my heart.  And they could also tell me if I was helping them or hurting them.

God gave grace.  I began to adjust my teaching and preaching to serve people, not critique their ideas.  The woman and her husband became good friends. They are fellow sheep before the Great Shepherd and have more than once given further help to me.  I am so grateful for that day she had the courage and love to speak to me.

Comments

[Jose Jimenez]

Mark, I need to hear more experiences like this. I can get all caught up in being right while transferring information instead of using God's Word to remind people of the awesomeness of God and to serve them with where they are in a kind and loving way.

[Betsy Watt Grace]

Oh, Mark, this is so fabulous! How I had wished to be 'shepard' like this newness of humility when I was young. Your heart certainly reached for God's Grace as HE demonstrated HIS love for you and His purpose for you. May you and your Church continue to be lifted up !!

[Thorsten Wiediger]

Reading this is a fresh breeze and a humble model of how I'm supposed to shepherd my fellow sheep, as well. Thanks for sharing that, Mark! Looking forward to perhaps meeting you in Louisville in April.

Thorsten