Introspection, Self-suspicion, and the Death of Joy, 1

Truth is a very dangerous thing in the hands of sinners.  Examples abound, but one of particular relevance to me is a robust doctrine of sin. 

True, if we understand the deceitfulness of sin and its constant working in our lives, it affects how we live the Christian life. There are two clear implications:

1. I may not see the motive of my life so clearly after a quick glance --all a man's ways are clean in his own eyes.
2. Self-suspicion is a legitimate application of this doctrine.

But, seeking to discern the deceitfulness of the heart can become a snare and a trap.  And self-suspicion can be a form of self-righteousness and self-atonement.  Let me explain.

First, it is a snare.  If I understand the nature of the human heart, it is complex and deep.  I am not merely a chemical organism.  I am not behaviorally programmed protoplasm.  I am active -- my inner world is always stirring -- and many of those stirring are beyond my conscious awareness.

What sort of metaphor describes this? I have one. Think "cave" and by that I mean the incredibly complex set of subterranean passages some think may even connect to each other over hundreds of miles.  Cave explorers know there is always more to explore.  So it is with our hearts.

The dangers are simple: I tend to believe that the deeper I go the more powerful will be the insight and its effects, and I am inclined to go exploring because I am fascinated by ME even when it is sinful me.  Last, I explore without the right equipment. 

Here is the truth: If I go on a quest for the "deep issues" of my life I will find more and more discoveries of sin.  But there is no "root sin" per se. Sin is too complex and there is not biblical warrant for the idea of finding some root sin that I can address and fix all others.

I am not called to probe and analyze my heart endlessly. If anything the NT is fairly focused on putting obvious and visible sin to death.  It is fine to ask, "what is going on in my heart?" since fear of man, unbelief, bitterness are heart sins.  But once I see the sin, bring it to the cross and stop the search.

Second, it is self-righteousness.  What do I mean by that?  It is a form of seeking perfection -- of commending myself to God. It is the theological equivalent to the quest for a disease free life.  I am seeking to build something which cannot be built.  And it is self atonement -- a form of severe self-analysis that seems virtuous, but is really a dishonor to Christ.

The real danger of the robust doctrine of sin is to apply it outside a robust doctrine of Christ.  The sun of righteousness must shine brightly for me to see my sin clearly.

But what about self-suspicion? Self-suspicion means that I value the help of others in seeing in me what is not evident to me.  I seek their perspective, but even this can become excessive, and ultimately paralyzing. I will never get to the bottom and if I try I will be ensnared.

What I need is not self study, but cross study -- Christ study.  Endless self analysis (hours and hours of allowing friends to put one on the hot-seat of analysis -- hours and hours of self-probing) will lead to joyless, burdened, sad Christian living.  This is where I am tempted to go with a wrong application of the doctrine of sin.

A friend of mine gave me a t-shirt to help me.  On the front is a picture of a heart with a slash through it -- and the phrase "No heart spelunking".  People stop me all the time and ask what that is -- and when I tell them it is the word for exploring a cave, and that I am called to not study myself they walk away puzzled.  But they need to see the backside of the t-shirt -- where it says that the only antidote mighty enough to deal with my troubled conscience, burdened soul, and the accusings of the devil is the Gospel. 

Comments

[Thorsten Wiediger]

Great thoughts because of a great gospel for a great and often me-focosed sinner like me. Thanks for showing the way out of the cave in simple, understandable words.