Is biblical fellowship optional? 5

In this post I want to explore some of the ways I am learning to practice fellowship.  I am by no means a stellar example.  But I am learning.

First, the mood of fellowship is very simple -- it is encouragement.  For those who want to be helped to see this, I recommend C J Mahaney's message, "Grace and the Adventure of Leadership" that you can get here.

When I come to Hebrews, which contains some of the most severe warnings in the NT, I find the primary admonition of how believers are to relate is "encourage" and I find it to be done "daily" and "all the more."  Yes, yes, we are watching over each other for sin -- but encourage is what we are to do to help I tend to think it should read, "Watch out for the deceitfulness of sin. Keep a sharp eye out for sin.  Rebuke each other often.  Be suspicious of each other."  But that is not what it says -- it says that the way to guard against hardness of heart is encouragement.  That does not mean there is no place for rebuke -- it means the first step is to be alert for grace in each other and fan it into flame.

It takes no advanced degree to find fault with another man -- or to show the stupidity of someone else's thinking. It takes much grace to see God at work in a fellow redeemed sinner whose life is marred by sin and marked by grace.  It takes grace to see it and strengthen it.  It takes grace to encourage them in a way that glorifies God and strengthens faith.

Notice -- we are called to consider each other and to think about the other person and God's work in them) to provoke (really stir them up) unto love and good works.  That means I am looking for where God is at work and I am stirring it up. 

We are called to do it diligently.

My children tell me I am very hard to please.  I do not think I am -- I think I have very good standards and they need to measure up.  I wake up in the morning and the first thing I see is what has not been done.  I see faults all over.  I am God's agent to make them excellent.

A few years ago a friend saw my sin and encouraged me to spend a whole summer doing nothing but encouraging my children.  It was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  Every day I would look for grace in them but find faults.  I had to bite my tongue all the time.  But the fruit on their lives and our relationship was amazing.

So -- as I lead my family, do they hear my criticism more than my commendation?  Do I see myself as the great and indispensable fault-finder?  As I relate to fellow-Christians, am I more aware of their sin or of their growth in sanctification? 

I am learning this most crucial element of fellowship -- and seeing it as the first step.  Until I see grace in others I am in no position to help them grow by pointing out their sin.

Comments

[Dinah Oude-Reimerink]

Hi - I am new to your blog. And finding it well worth the visits!

Your words: "Until I see grace in others I am in no position to help them grow by pointing out their sin." are very life-giving to me.

It certainly seems that until we've invested enough thought and prayer into THEIR place, and divested ourselves enough of our own sometimes plank-driven agendas, we are frequently only in a position to wound - to alienate. I'll speak for myself here - until I've made that investment (prayer) into a person, I usually only see the behavior. Once I've sought the Lord on their behalf, I frequently see the wounded heart or the crippled soul that presents little else to choose from in terms of what manifests as the outward behavior. That then places me in a position from which I can encourage meaningfully and if necessary, offer a godly rebuke.

I look forward to following your posts.

[Gord]

Great post.

"That does not mean there is no place for rebuke -- it means the first step is to be alert for grace in each other and fan it into flame."

Yet, I still wonder about the place of rebuke.

Paul seemed to utilize this form of correction in the churches he founded, so how do we deal with this part of "fellowship"?

I know in my own experience, I tend to be encouraging and try not to point out people's flaws. But, I believe if we are ignoring or glossing over their sins, we do not love them as we should and we do a disservice to them and to the whole body.

So, my question remains, What IS the place of rebuke? and How do we utilize it? (What is the correct way to rebuke?)

I have my own ideas but would like to know what your thoughts are.

Thanks and blessings to you for this thought provoking post.