Censorious Thoughts, 4 -- responding to harsh judgments

A question has come from one who reads these posts: how do we respond when we are the object of uncharitable judgments?  What do we do if we experience censoriousness?  Let's explore . . .

I know of no experience more tempting to bitterness and more revealing of pride than when I have been misjudged or judged uncharitably.  Everything in me screams out to justify myself and to argue my case -- OR to dismiss my critics and judge them!  I have had some very sad experiences among what I must call fundamentalism -- knowing that this label does not necessarily mean people are censorious.  But those experiences revealed more about me than it did about them.

First, I have to begin with suspicion of my own heart.  Why do I think I know myself better than they do?  Why do I think I must vindicate myself?  Why is their harsh jusgment so troubling to me when I have already stood before the bar of God and been declared righteous. If their harsh judgments are that troubling to me, then it says I am probably looking for my justification somewhere other than before God.  Jesus lived under this reality -- he was always judged harshly.  Yet, he walked in peace through it all because he lived to please God, not men.  Their judgments of me are a gift to see how I can more fully rest in Christ!

Second, I have to deal with the temptation to judge them censoriously.  How easy it is to think I am above censoriousness.  I can censoriously judge those who judge me!  I can refuse to associate with them.  OK, there are certain types of Christians whom I will see in heaven, but I would rather never associate with on earth!  My heart despises them.  I see them as harsh and rigid and mean-spirited and critical.  I can smell them all a mile away -- and all of what I have written so far tells me about my heart, not theirs!

Third, I think it is a discipline of grace to think non-censorious thoughts of my critics -- to pray for grace to increase in them -- to realize that were I from their background and experience and had faced their life, I would be more censorious than they!  I need to deliberately make a list of their names and think about what I see of grace in them and even tell them! I need to serve them.

Fourth, when all that is done, there may be a place to speak into their lives.  My impression is we must be very clever at this as my censorious heart is rooted in pride and pride means I do not think I have a sin problem here!  I am blind.  How do I help the blind to see?  With wise words that skirt around their pride.  This takes prayer and reflection and fasting!  It also takes courage as censorious people are not very easy to get close to!  It is sort of like hanging out with an auditor from the IRS.

Here is the root issue, I think. Censoriousness reveals self-righteousness.  It reveals that I am trusting in someone or something other than Jesus for my standing before God.  Therefore I am desperately insecure in my standing and very quick to assault anything or anyone who threatens my security. 

If we observe the areas of our lives where we are most defensive, most critical, most ready to jump into a debate -- my guess is that these are areas of self-righteousness. And if I become very angry with the censorious judgments of others upon myself, then I am most likely not resting in the finished work of Christ for me and I think myself above such sin.

The solution -- no, the remedy for this disease is always the application of the Gospel.

Comments

[Penn]

Mark,

I believe God is completely Sovereign, even over us falling into sin like censuriousness. I have fallen into this dispicable attitude both recently and in times past, acting on it to my shame. My thoughts asked why? I believe God is humbling me to let me see just how wicked I really am. All my self-righteousness is abased and I become the "cheif of sinners" as I realize that Romans 3:10 is written to me. This is all to magnify His marvelous grace toward us who can add nothing to such a costly free gift as His love. It makes me glory in the cross as a reality to me. "But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is therefore Christ the minister of sin? God forbid." (Galations 2:17). Christ Jesus forbids sin. O, but what glorious grace is found in him, when He pardons it all! Christ crucified (and risen) is truly the greatest news for today.

[Alan]

Thank you for the humility with which you have talked about your own learning in this area. This is very powerful material. I trust you are experiencing much of the fact that grace is available to the humble.

[Penn]

I had to go look up "censuriously" before I could comment. Now that I understand the word a little better I can say: O what weak and helpless worms we are in need of the power of God's grace! Because of my own censurious heart, I can say that I truly abhor myself. May God grant us grace to see Jesus more clearly.

Thanks for helping me learn about censuriousness.

[Gretchen]

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

[Patricia]

These posts have been particularly timely for me. I have been guilty of both giving and receiving harsh judgments with an attitude of self-righteousness. I am so grateful that it is God's kindness that leads me to repentance. Oh, that I would forever apply the Gospel.